o c t o b e r  2000 — o c t o b e r  2004




"Those who choose to live in denial may eventually be
forced to live in fear."

- George W. Bush, October 16, 2002


SURVIVOR A: All I wanted was a family of my own. All I wanted was a little more time.

SURVIVOR B: You have your opinion, and I have my opinion. And we can disagree. And I respect your right to your opinion. I respect. I don't really agree with everything you're saying but. I have.

SURVIVOR C: We just wanted to live, and be happy. And be free. Back then we just wanted. I don't know.

SURVIVOR D: A gun was just a tool. Like a camera. Or a typewriter.

SURVIVOR E: Bang. You're dead.

SURVIVOR F: I knew they were the last days. I would drive to work and drive home. I would microwave my dinner and pray. We knew what was coming.


SURVIVOR H: Some of us wanted it. You get so tired sometimes. You want it all to just end. You don't care anymore. You smoke cigarettes and you laugh at the TV and somebody looks at you on the street and then looks away. There's a conspiracy in every sidewalk crack. They're laughing at you. Making fun of the way you walk. Documenting every move. So you walk carefully. You run. You stop and stand there sometimes. The traffic lights blink at you. The cars move around you. Sometimes I couldn't figure out where I got the will to take another step. Sometimes I couldn't figure out where I got the will to just stand there. There were times I wanted the sidewalk to just move under my feet, roll my home back to me while I stood there in place. I figured if I waited long enough. I figured if I could just run fast enough.

SURVIVOR I: I remember sticking my finger in the barrel of his gun and then telling a knock-knock joke. Only I wouldn't give the punch line. At that point, what else could I do? And he just stood there with his jaw set. Clenched grin. Riot helmet gleaming. A spectacular weapon of mass distraction. You have your opinion, he said to me. You have your way of looking at things. And I respect.

SURVIVOR J: Bang. You're dead.

SURVIVOR K: Go ahead. Pull the trigger. What else do I have to lose now?

SURVIVOR L: We knew it was coming.

SURVIVOR M: Hey I was talking to Monica, you know, that one that works over at Jack-In-The-Box?

SURVIVOR N: Y que cuenta?

SURVIVOR O: She asked about you. She said when are you gonna come order a number three meal from her. She'll hook you up.

SURVIVOR P: Tst. Dumb.

SURVIVOR Q: No for reals she has a big-ass crush on you man. She goes, Where's that guy Carlos you were walking with the other day? See she knows your name. She wants to supersize it for you.

SURVIVOR R: Shut up. Stupid.

SURVIVOR S: Na for reals though. Seriously she likes you. I'm telling you.

SURVIVOR T: We knew it was coming. We were tired of holding our breath. We were tired of not caring anymore. One guy marched around with posters. One guy marched around with a gun. One guy marched around in circles, one palm to the earth, one palm to the sky.

SURVIVOR U: Around and around and around. My shoes wore out. The bottoms of my feet wore out. The sidewalks wore out. Time wore out. I remember holding my wife and staring at the sky. We never saw a color like that before. By then we knew it was in our bodies already. Our skin contaminated. Our lips contaminated. I kissed her and smelled the flesh burning under my mouth. Babies came out and looked at us funny, and all we could do was look away like idiots.

SURVIVOR V: Sorry--our bad.

SURVIVOR W: If you would just agree with us then we wouldn't have to shoot you.

SURVIVOR X: We knew. They knew, too.

SURVIVOR Y: Tst. Stupid. You knew too.

SURVIVOR Z: No for reals though. We knew it was coming. That's why we fought back. What else could we do? What else did we have to lose? We knew it was coming, so we stood up and stuck our finger in the barrel.

__________: Knock knock.



o c t o b e r  2000 — o c t o b e r  2004


contact: kualyque • p.o. box 861843 • los angeles, ca 90086 • k u a l y q u e @ s i c k l y s e a s o n . c o m